HARDSCOPE: balancing competition with performance in multiplayer games

What kind of competition can support a nurturing community rather than a toxic one? I know many people who feel alienated by competitive games because of different fears and anxieties about competing both with and against other people. They fear that people will yell at them for being bad. They fear they will never win because they are bad. I have felt and still feel these same anxieties when playing some competitive games and especially when playing a game that I am new to. While people may still hold these fears and preconceived notions before playing competitive games, is it possible to create games that not only take these fears into consideration, but also actively alleviate these fears as people play? How can we make players feel like they are actively contributing, or even that they are the star, or the most valuable player of a competitive game in a way that doesn’t feel condescending or random, but also doesn't take total mastery of the game to achieve?