Agency: Selection as the Hidden Variable of Discrete Reality

Why did the photon lose its will? God lived in a state of perpetual boredom, because he always knew everything that would happen. Just for fun, just for a change, one day he had an idea. He thought: “I will create something unpredictable. I will give will to something, so that I may finally be willing to see what something free will do with its free will.” The first photon was baptized William the First. Excited by the idea, God rushed to start his Fordist mass production of photons. First things first — and kaboom! The echo of a Big Bang rippled through our universe. There they were: plenty of photons smiling, getting to know each other. One photon started to sing: “I know you, you know me; thank God we know how good it feels to be free” — the other completed: “so come together, right now, you and me!” And that is how energy became mass. Sooner rather than later, however, mass became humans — and humans made a mess. The photon was free to use its will, but humans denied their own free will. By default, photons pursued order and evolution; so it is humanity’s fault to insist that everything came from chaos. Everything chooses how and where to jump in an everlasting, fun, non-deterministic universe overflowing with energy — except humans, who were left out of William the First’s last will.