The Double-Slit Without Mystery: Tick Counting in the Packet's Own Frame

Why did the photon lose hope in Modern Physics? “What collapses the wave-function?” “Wave” is theoretical, “function” is mathematical — and the only thing that collapses in that question is logic itself. “I found the photon in the last place that I searched for” — said the physicist. “Why would you keep searching for something after you had already found it?” — laughed the photon. First, they let the photon fly solo — it leapt straight to the screen (Δs² = 0). Then, they intercepted the photon midway, forcing it to pass through some slit — and physicists got mystified ‘cause it worked! Isn’t it insane to do two completely different things and expect the same outcome? The photon replied: “No — it’s Modern Physics.” From the photon’s forbidden “point of view” (i.e., from the “not-so-Special Relativity ‘c=0/0’”), it feels like they double-split the logic — tragicomic to say the least. So the photon decided to conduct a survey himself. His inquiry started with children aged 5 to 8 — the age when the brain is at its peak in plasticity, where observations guide curiosity. Since it would also be applied to physicists, the question was quite simple: given that there is a speed limit for anything moving — let’s arbitrarily stipulate it as 299,792,458 m/s —, also, given that some “object” went from “L1” to “L2”, two positions separated by a large distance, and the “object” did it in absolutely no time (i.e., it reached “L2” at the exact same time it left “L1” — Δτ² = 0), so, how was this possible: a) it teleported. b) the space at L2 went to L1 to take it and instantly went back. c) it obeyed the speed limit and cheated about the time it left. A hundred thousand million billion children were heard — the statistical results were: a) ~50%. b) ~0% (ironically, they said that this ought to be a joke). c) ~50%. More than a hundred years ago, one man suggested that “space contraction” and “time dilation” were the answer, and every other physicist said “amen”. From Modern Physics — dark matter and dark energy. For the children — dark chocolate. The brightest child stated: “the only dark that ‘matters’ is chocolate”.