Notebook of Clifford Powell, on his deathbed (19)

Extracts from a notebook written in a number of people's handwriting which records the last thoughts of Arthur Clifford 'Cliff' Powell, eldest son of W.J. and Clara Powell, and older brother of Walter Powell. Their brother Percy had died of his wounds in 1917. Cliff Powell was dying of TB contracted whilst serving in the trenches in the First World War. According to Walter Powell's notes Cliff had "served over 3 years at Ypres" in three regiments Herefords, Monmouth's, Somerset Light Infantry, "In 5 Battalions. Terrible Losses". Photographs of Cliff are also in this collection. Entries in the notebook appear to have been made by Cliff in pencil, and sometimes these have been written over in ink (probably for clarity) in either his father or his mother's hand. They sometimes appear to be Cliff trying to communicate with a visitor. Poems and verse are included - possibly written by Cliff - he was a talented artist, painting birds in particular which were published in a number of books. Sometimes the entries appear to be thoughts recorded on paper as reminders for what to be done about the dispersal of his property or his wishes for readings etc. At the end the entries are written by people recording what Cliff has said or done in his delirium or in moments of calm/clarity. It makes for some uplifting and some distressing reading. Some extracts include: 26 June 1921 I have always seen enough of God in nature to believe in Him. There are a great many more things in life to rejoice over than to mope about. 1 August 1921 At Alpine Bridge [a picturesque foot bridge over the River Ithon in Radnorshire] At Alpine Bridge deep dark valleys had not been that way before - lost awoke ['on' DELETED] over the hills - Where am I? What day is it? What time is it? What has happened? 2 August 1921 I know the TB has got down to my stomach. It will soon carry me home - the Doctors are helpless. 6 August 1921 To Aunty: I hope I shall keep smiling to the end. I shall try. 7 August 1921 To self: Will power has a great deal to do with it. I hope you won't hear me squeal. I shall try to smile to the end. 9 August 1921 Tell her ['Blanche' is mentioned elsewhere on that page] that I am getting weaker... only a matter of time 13 August 1921 His [Cliff's] birthday. Many gifts of flowers. This is my last Birthday. I am just glad I reached it. I want to go now, quietly. When Dad said to me a week last Friday lets see is your Birthday tomorrow, I said no a week tomorrow but I meant to reach it if I could, I don't know just why but I have startedmy 27th year. 14 August 1921 ...I have found more evidence of God's love and wisdom in Nature and the world, than I ever saw in any Church, And I saw more religion - well practical Christianity "over there", than I have ever seen anywhere else... now I just want to go quietly. I have no fear at all. (Aunty - Some people pass away in their sleep. Ah! I should like that)... The problem of pain: we think we should be better without pain, but how do we know its purpose, it is all around us. We are in the world, but we know little about it. ...I wish my old medals would come tomorrow. I should like to see them. (Wal should get his too) - All my Army papers and addresses are in my drawer now - Mother's seeing to all my letters - I have asked her. 20 August 1921 Good old Somerset Light Infantry, they had a torn flag and now my flag is torn too. It is now in my gums where teeth had been extracted. it is in my whole body, got it everywhere now... I have felt very bright today. I woke up bright at 9 o'clock, and was fully awake for my shave. Saw Emlyn, Agnes and Percy Bufton. 21 August 1921 Miss Thomas Neath called 10.30am. To Mother - You want some help to go to bed - I think. 20 August 1921 The great thing in life is not so much to win the game as to play a bad hand well. 21 August 1921 Evening delirium. Very weak. Can't I have a drink - no I can't have a drink - but - ? but - but - ? Wait a minute - Oh dear dear - , No I can't have a drink - because - because - ? That's it - ...He looked up at me and smiled as he always did. Passed away 4.20 a.m. Weds 24 August 1921. "Success is of far less consequence than fortitude". Even when the opposing team had piled up a heap of goals, they - played as hard as if success were only just round the corner. Uphill - Christina Rossetti - poem is copied out in full. Part of a collection relating to Walter H. Powell, Llandrindod Wells, (private / driver M2-267205 Mechanised Transport Army Service Corps). Born 1898, Walter tried to join up under-age on a number of occasions, finally succeeding in 1916. He served many months - (more than 2 years?) - in different army units in Britain, before going over to France. He served as a despatch rider for an anti-aircraft battery in 1918-1919. Walter was gassed "suffering the effects all his life". He was a founder member of Toc-H in Llandrindod, and a keen footballer - he died in 1994 aged 96. However Walter's older brothers (Cliff and Percy Powell) and his uncle (Humphrey Powell) died of wounds sustained during the war.本数据集节选自由多人手写的手札，该手札记录了亚瑟·克利福德·“克利夫”·鲍威尔（Arthur Clifford 'Cliff' Powell）的临终思绪。克利夫为W.J.与克拉拉·鲍威尔的长子，亦是沃尔特·鲍威尔的长兄，其兄珀西已于1917年因战伤离世。 克利夫·鲍威尔因在第一次世界大战堑壕服役期间感染肺结核（TB）生命垂危。据沃尔特·鲍威尔的手记记载，克利夫曾在伊普尔（Ypres）服役逾3年，先后效力于赫里福德团、蒙茅斯团、萨默塞特轻步兵营3个军团，隶属于5个营队，期间"伤亡惨重"。本收藏中亦收录克利夫的肖像照片。 手札中的条目多由克利夫以铅笔书写，部分段落被以墨水誊写（大概率为便于辨认），字迹疑似出自其父或其母之手。部分内容似为克利夫试图与探访者沟通的记录。 手札中收录诗作与韵文——或为克利夫本人所作——他是一名天赋出众的艺术家，尤擅绘制鸟类，其鸟类画作曾被收录于多部出版物中。部分条目为克利夫记录的备忘，涉及财产处置、追思仪式的诵读安排等事宜。 手札末尾的条目由他人记录，记载了克利夫在谵妄状态或清醒时刻的言行。这些内容既有令人动容的温情片段，亦有令人心碎的哀戚篇章。 部分节选内容如下： 1921年6月26日：我始终能从自然之中窥见上帝的身影，故而坚信祂的存在。人生中值得欢欣之事，远多于令人郁郁寡欢之物。 1921年8月1日：于阿尔卑斯桥（Alpine Bridge）——拉德诺郡（Radnorshire）境内横跨艾顿河（River Ithon）的风景优美的步行桥。在阿尔卑斯桥，幽深的山谷……此前未曾涉足此地——迷失了方向（"on"已删除）——越过山丘——我身在何处？今日是何日子？此刻是几时？究竟发生了何事？ 1921年8月2日：我清楚，肺结核（TB）已经侵袭我的胃部。它很快就要带我归家——医生们束手无策。 1921年8月6日：致姨妈：我希望自己能始终微笑着走到生命尽头。我会尽力而为。 1921年8月7日：致自己：意志力对此影响巨大。我希望你不会听到我痛苦呻吟。我会尽力微笑着走到最后。 1921年8月9日：告诉她（该页面其他位置提及"布兰奇"）：我的身体愈发虚弱……不过是时日无多而已。 1921年8月13日：今日是他（克利夫）的生日。收到了许多鲜花作为礼物。这是我最后一个生日。我很高兴自己能活到这一天。我现在只想安静地离去。当父亲在上周五问我"明天是不是你的生日"时，我回答"还有一周才到"，但我本意是希望自己能撑到那一天。我也说不清为什么，但我已经开启了自己的27岁人生。 1921年8月14日：……相较于任何教堂，我在自然与世间万物中，更能感受到上帝的爱与智慧。我在"那边"（指战场）所见的宗教——嗯，是切实的基督教精神——也比我在其他任何地方见到的都多……现在我只想安静地离去。我毫无惧色。（姨妈：有些人会在睡梦中离世。啊！我也希望如此。）……关于痛苦的命题：我们总认为如果没有痛苦，生活会更美好，但我们如何知晓痛苦的意义？它无处不在。我们身处世间，却对它知之甚少。……我希望我的旧勋章能在明天送到。我想再看看它们。（沃尔特也应该拿到他的勋章）——我所有的军方文件与地址都放在我的抽屉里——母亲正在处理我的所有信件——我已经嘱咐过她了。 1921年8月20日：可敬的萨默塞特轻步兵营，他们曾有一面破损的旗帜，如今我的旗帜也残破不堪。它现在在我的牙龈里，就在我被拔除的牙齿所在的位置。它遍布我的全身，现在无处不在……我今天感觉状态很好。我9点醒来时精神饱满，剃须时也完全清醒。见到了埃姆林、艾格尼丝与珀西·巴夫顿一家。 1921年8月20日：人生中最重要的事，与其说是赢得比赛，不如说是即便手握坏牌，也能打得漂亮。 1921年8月21日：上午10点30分，尼思的托马斯小姐到访。致母亲：我想你需要一些帮助才能就寝。 1921年8月21日：夜间谵妄。身体极度虚弱。我能不能喝一口水——不行，我不能喝水——但是——？可是——可是——？等等——哦天哪——，不，我不能喝水——因为——因为——？就是这样——……他抬头看着我，像往常一样露出了笑容。于1921年8月24日周三凌晨4点20分与世长辞。 "成功远不及坚毅重要。"即便对手已经大比分领先，他们仍会全力以赴，仿佛胜利就在咫尺之遥。 《Uphill》——克里斯蒂娜·罗塞蒂（Christina Rossetti）所作——全诗被誊写于此。 本数据集同时关联沃尔特·H·鲍威尔（Walter H. Powell）的相关藏品，其驻地为兰德林多德韦尔斯（Llandrindod Wells），隶属陆军勤务军团（Army Service Corps）机械化运输部队，编号为M2-267205。沃尔特生于1898年，曾多次尝试提前入伍，最终于1916年成功参军。他先后在英国境内的多支部队服役数月（逾2年？），随后前往法国前线。1918至1919年间，他担任防空炮兵连的传令兵。沃尔特曾遭遇毒气袭击，此后终生受其后遗症困扰。他是兰德林多德韦尔斯托卡布（Toc H）的创始成员之一，亦是一名狂热的足球爱好者，于1994年离世，享年96岁。不过，沃尔特的两位兄长克利夫与珀西·鲍威尔，以及其叔父汉弗莱·鲍威尔（Humphrey Powell）均因战争中负伤离世。