Notebook of Clifford Powell, on his deathbed (22)

Extracts from a notebook written in a number of people's handwriting which records the last thoughts of Arthur Clifford 'Cliff' Powell, eldest son of W.J. and Clara Powell, and older brother of Walter Powell. Their brother Percy had died of his wounds in 1917. Cliff Powell was dying of TB contracted whilst serving in the trenches in the First World War. According to Walter Powell's notes Cliff had "served over 3 years at Ypres" in three regiments Herefords, Monmouth's, Somerset Light Infantry, "In 5 Battalions. Terrible Losses". Photographs of Cliff are also in this collection. Entries in the notebook appear to have been made by Cliff in pencil, and sometimes these have been written over in ink (probably for clarity) in either his father or his mother's hand. They sometimes appear to be Cliff trying to communicate with a visitor. Poems and verse are included - possibly written by Cliff - he was a talented artist, painting birds in particular which were published in a number of books. Sometimes the entries appear to be thoughts recorded on paper as reminders for what to be done about the dispersal of his property or his wishes for readings etc. At the end the entries are written by people recording what Cliff has said or done in his delirium or in moments of calm/clarity. It makes for some uplifting and some distressing reading. Some extracts include: 26 June 1921 I have always seen enough of God in nature to believe in Him. There are a great many more things in life to rejoice over than to mope about. 1 August 1921 At Alpine Bridge [a picturesque foot bridge over the River Ithon in Radnorshire] At Alpine Bridge deep dark valleys had not been that way before - lost awoke ['on' DELETED] over the hills - Where am I? What day is it? What time is it? What has happened? 2 August 1921 I know the TB has got down to my stomach. It will soon carry me home - the Doctors are helpless. 6 August 1921 To Aunty: I hope I shall keep smiling to the end. I shall try. 7 August 1921 To self: Will power has a great deal to do with it. I hope you won't hear me squeal. I shall try to smile to the end. 9 August 1921 Tell her ['Blanche' is mentioned elsewhere on that page] that I am getting weaker... only a matter of time 13 August 1921 His [Cliff's] birthday. Many gifts of flowers. This is my last Birthday. I am just glad I reached it. I want to go now, quietly. When Dad said to me a week last Friday lets see is your Birthday tomorrow, I said no a week tomorrow but I meant to reach it if I could, I don't know just why but I have startedmy 27th year. 14 August 1921 ...I have found more evidence of God's love and wisdom in Nature and the world, than I ever saw in any Church, And I saw more religion - well practical Christianity "over there", than I have ever seen anywhere else... now I just want to go quietly. I have no fear at all. (Aunty - Some people pass away in their sleep. Ah! I should like that)... The problem of pain: we think we should be better without pain, but how do we know its purpose, it is all around us. We are in the world, but we know little about it. ...I wish my old medals would come tomorrow. I should like to see them. (Wal should get his too) - All my Army papers and addresses are in my drawer now - Mother's seeing to all my letters - I have asked her. 20 August 1921 Good old Somerset Light Infantry, they had a torn flag and now my flag is torn too. It is now in my gums where teeth had been extracted. it is in my whole body, got it everywhere now... I have felt very bright today. I woke up bright at 9 o'clock, and was fully awake for my shave. Saw Emlyn, Agnes and Percy Bufton. 21 August 1921 Miss Thomas Neath called 10.30am. To Mother - You want some help to go to bed - I think. 20 August 1921 The great thing in life is not so much to win the game as to play a bad hand well. 21 August 1921 Evening delirium. Very weak. Can't I have a drink - no I can't have a drink - but - ? but - but - ? Wait a minute - Oh dear dear - , No I can't have a drink - because - because - ? That's it - ...He looked up at me and smiled as he always did. Passed away 4.20 a.m. Weds 24 August 1921. "Success is of far less consequence than fortitude". Even when the opposing team had piled up a heap of goals, they - played as hard as if success were only just round the corner. Uphill - Christina Rossetti - poem is copied out in full. Part of a collection relating to Walter H. Powell, Llandrindod Wells, (private / driver M2-267205 Mechanised Transport Army Service Corps). Born 1898, Walter tried to join up under-age on a number of occasions, finally succeeding in 1916. He served many months - (more than 2 years?) - in different army units in Britain, before going over to France. He served as a despatch rider for an anti-aircraft battery in 1918-1919. Walter was gassed "suffering the effects all his life". He was a founder member of Toc-H in Llandrindod, and a keen footballer - he died in 1994 aged 96. However Walter's older brothers (Cliff and Percy Powell) and his uncle (Humphrey Powell) died of wounds sustained during the war.

本数据集取自一本由多人笔迹书写的笔记本，其中记录了亚瑟·克利福德·"克利夫"·鲍威尔（Arthur Clifford 'Cliff' Powell）的临终所思。克利夫是W.J.与克拉拉·鲍威尔的长子，亦是沃尔特·鲍威尔的长兄。二人的兄弟珀西已于1917年因战伤离世。

克利夫·鲍威尔因一战战壕服役期间感染的肺结核（Tuberculosis, TB）病危。据沃尔特·鲍威尔的笔记记载，克利夫曾在伊普尔（Ypres）服役超三年，先后效力于赫里福德团（Herefords）、蒙茅斯团（Monmouth's）与萨默塞特轻步兵营（Somerset Light Infantry），共涉及5个营，期间"伤亡惨重"。

本藏品中亦包含克利夫的肖像照片。笔记本上的文字最初多由克利夫以铅笔书写，部分内容后被其父亲或母亲以墨水誊写（推测是为了更清晰易读）。部分条目似乎是克利夫试图与探访者交流的记录。

本集中还收录了诗歌与韵文——大概率出自克利夫之手。克利夫是一名颇具天赋的艺术家，尤擅绘制鸟类，其作品曾收录于多部出版物中。部分条目则是克利夫记录下的所思所想，用于提醒自己处理财产分配、葬礼诵读安排等事宜。

笔记末尾的条目则由他人记录，内容为克利夫在谵妄状态或清醒片刻间的言行。这些记录时而令人动容，时而又令人揪心。

部分摘录如下：
1921年6月26日 我始终能从自然万物中窥见上帝的身影，因此笃信祂的存在。生命中值得欢欣的事物远多于令人沉郁的哀愁。
1921年8月1日 于阿尔卑斯桥（拉德诺郡境内伊思河上的风景优美的人行桥） 阿尔卑斯桥下幽深的山谷，我此前从未涉足。群山间云雾弥漫（原文中"on"一词已被划去）——我身在何处？今日是何年何月何日？此刻是几点？究竟发生了什么？
1921年8月2日 我清楚肺结核已经侵袭了我的胃部。它很快就要带我归家了——医生们对此束手无策。
1921年8月6日 致姨妈：我希望自己能始终微笑着走到生命尽头。我会尽力为之。
1921年8月7日 致自己：意志力对此至关重要。希望你们不会听到我因痛苦而呻吟。我会尽力微笑着走完最后一程。
1921年8月9日 转告她（该页面其他位置提及了"布兰奇"）：我的身体愈发虚弱……时日无多了。
1921年8月13日 今日是他[克利夫]的生日。收到了许多鲜花作为礼物。这是我最后一个生日。能活到此刻，我已心满意足。我只想安静地离去。上周周五父亲对我说"明天就是你的生日了吧"，我本想说"是一周后的明天"，但我想说的是，若能如愿，我会活到生日当天。我也说不清缘由，但我已然开启了自己的27岁年华。
1921年8月14日 ……我在自然与世间万物中窥见的上帝之爱与智慧，远胜过我在任何教堂中所见。我在"那边"（指战场）所见证的真正的基督教实践，也比我在别处所见的要多得多……如今我只想安静地离去。我毫无惧色。（姨妈：有些人会在睡梦中安然离世。啊！我也渴望那样的离去……）关于痛苦的命题：我们总认为若能免于痛苦，生活会更美好，但我们无从知晓痛苦的意义何在。它无处不在。我们身处世间，却对它知之甚少。……我希望我的旧勋章能在明天送到。我想再看一看它们。（沃尔特也该拿到他的勋章）——我所有的军方文件与通讯录都放在我的抽屉里了——母亲正在处理我的所有信件，这是我嘱托过她的。
1921年8月20日 可敬的萨默塞特轻步兵营，他们的旗帜曾被撕裂，如今我的旗帜也已然残破。病痛已然侵入我的齿龈——此前我拔过牙的地方。它已经蔓延至我的全身，如今无处不在……今日我感觉状态极佳。我九点钟醒来时神采奕奕，刮胡子时也完全清醒。见到了埃姆林、艾格尼丝与珀西·巴夫顿一家。
1921年8月20日 生命中最珍贵的事，与其说是赢得比赛，不如说是即便手握烂牌，也能全力以赴地打好它。
1921年8月21日 内思的托马斯小姐于上午10点30分到访。致母亲：我想，您需要有人帮忙照料起居了。
1921年8月21日 夜间谵妄。身体极度虚弱。"能不能给我喝一杯？——不，我不能喝酒——可是……可是……？等等——哦，天哪……不，我不能喝酒——因为……因为……？就是这样……"他抬头望着我，一如往常地露出了笑容。于1921年8月24日周三凌晨4点20分与世长辞。"成功远不及坚毅来得重要。"即便对手已经大比分领先，他们依然拼尽全力，仿佛胜利就在眼前。《上坡路》——克里斯蒂娜·罗塞蒂（Christina Rossetti）的全诗被完整誊写于此。

本数据集同时关联了兰德里诺德威尔斯的沃尔特·H·鲍威尔（Walter H. Powell）的相关藏品，其隶属于陆军勤务队（Army Service Corps）机械化运输部队（Mechanised Transport），编号为M2-267205，身份为驾驶员。沃尔特生于1898年，曾多次试图应征入伍，最终于1916年如愿。他在英国境内的多支部队服役数月（超过两年？），随后前往法国。1918年至1919年间，他担任防空炮兵连的通讯兵。沃尔特曾遭遇毒气袭击，此后终身受其影响。他是兰德里诺德威尔斯的托奇（Toc H）俱乐部创始成员之一，亦是一名狂热的足球爱好者，于1994年离世，享年96岁。然而，沃尔特的兄长克利夫与珀西·鲍威尔，以及他的叔父汉弗莱·鲍威尔，均因战争中所受的伤而离世。